This year I am recording twelve songs to my 4-track tape machine, pairing them with original pieces of visual art, and sharing them exclusively with subscribers to this newsletter. All songs in the series may be downloaded for free by clicking the three dots to the right of the play button.
Today’s song is about belonging to The Real.
Just yesterday, while taking a break from putting the finishing touches on the mix for this song, I had my first experience of genuine fear about the future (and present) of AI-generated media. The feeling came over me as I was watched a video clip that looked so real it didn’t matter that I knew it was algorithmically generated. I could feel that my nervous system simply accepted what it saw: “This is real.”
So far, with the rise of AI-generated media, I have tried to take an attitude of unimpressed amusement. “Let others care about this,” I tell myself, “and I will just keep making real, human-made art, which is what most of us really want anyways.”
The problem is that, until yesterday, I have been working under the assumption that I (and others) would be able to tell the difference between human and algorithmic artifacts. Of course, that isn’t true. I will be duped just like everyone else. In the language so many seemed drawn to in this moment: “We’re cooked.”
So I think the fear is this: What if I live my life believing things to be true that are not? And worse, what if I do this and don’t even know?
Writing this a day later, I can see that behind this fear there is an assumption. I am afraid because I have assumed that it is I who must judge and perceive what is real. This presents a problem, because when I assume this posture of a judge, I also assumed that the world is the kind of thing which stands before me as an object. I am assuming that I am somehow prior to the world.
The truth, rather, is that the Real is ever drawing me into itself.
I was speaking with my wife, Amy, about this and she just shrugged, explaining that she was not afraid because no matter how “realistic” artificial media looks, the reality of the world itself can never be taken away from her. All she has to do is walk outside.
The world is right here, waiting to be seen, absorbing us in itself, and showing us (if we will pay attention) that we always already belong to it.
The Real
I wrote “Gather Me In” last June on a solitary songwriting retreat in Harbourville, Nova Scotia. I packed some apples and cheese and set up in a cottage overlooking the Bay of Fundy. On the morning of the second day I decided to try and improvise a song—to simply write the whole thing as I was playing and singing it in real time.
I set up on this very porch, found a nice set of chords on the guitar, and just started singing about what I saw. I proceeded slowly and deliberately and then 12 minutes later listened back to the voice memo and wrote out the lyrics and massaged the words into place. The version I’m sharing today has a few rearranged lyrics, but otherwise, this is the song the world summoned from me on that day.
The song is about the experience of being drawn into the world in all of its manifold presence—one of those experiences when you both lose yourself and become most yourself.
Building the Song
I confess that the tracks in this series are becoming less and less pure 4-track experiences. I think that’s okay. The goal for the series is to record all of the performances to tape, and that’s still the case here, but I’ve started experimenting with more hybrid approaches to arrangement and production.
This song began on my lovely Liven Lofi-12—a tasty and affordable little groove box.
I built the arrangement in the Liven’s 4-track sequencer and recorded these tracks to my tape machine. These were bounced from tape to my computer through an audio interface for a gentle mix. Then I recorded them back onto a fresh length of tape (this time on a single track). This freed up three more tracks for the rest of the performances: first guitar and vocals, then bass guitar, then acoustic drums. After bringing these three new tracks on the computer, I had 7 digital reproductions of tape performances to work with. It all came together into a really lush arrangement.
My favourite moment is when the second verse comes in and the lyrics about the deep ocean are heralded by the washy and textural lead synth line.
In fact, some of you might already have noticed that the melody of this synth part makes an oblique reference to a song made famous by Nat King Cole, “When I Fall in Love”:
When I fall in love,
It will be forever,
Or I’ll never fall in love.
For me, these words have become a declaration of love and devotion to that Reality that holds me and all in itself.
Lyrics, “Gather Me In”
Brave sapling,
you reach up with tender stem,
and touch the heavens.
You gather me in.
Sweet flowers,
you send out your loveliness,
your fragrance
gathers me in.
Cloud of songbirds,
you fold and twist upon the air,
following, emptying,
you are everything you dare
to be.Deep ocean,
wide bay,
fill up then empty.
You gather me in.
Soft shadows,
shelter and show me
who is glowing.
You gather me in.
Distant cliffs,
your sharp faces standing proud
on the ocean,
you’re all that you’re allowed
to be.Strong breakers,
your rumbling,
waters tumbling,
gather me in.
Yellow blossoms,
dotting the lawn,
each a speck of gold,
gathers me in.
Wide horizon,
stretching across
my whole vision,
you hold us all.
On you we’re living,
both big and small,
and here I’m sitting,
on this old ball;
here we are.
Here we are.
Updates
The New Canadiana: In case you missed it, here is my interview with Joel Brandt, a songwriter from Abbotsford, BC. Joel and I will be going live on Substack tomorrow, June 1 at 6pm EDT. The plan is to share some songs and talk about the mysteries and magic of songwriting. You can join us on the Substack app when we go live.
On Repeat Records: This month I was very proud to be a guest writer on Kevin Alexander’s wonderful Substack. You can read my post reflecting on The New Canadiana and the meaning of human-made art right here.
Halifax Residents—Save the date! On Father’s Day, June 15, I’ll be playing in a special concert at St. George’s Round Church in Halifax Nova Scotia. You do not want to miss this children’s choir (who will also be joining me for a couple songs in my own set!).
Wishing you all the best on this last day of May. Thanks for reading, thanks for listening!
—Matthew
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